Friday, October 2, 2009

The drive thru and the cup holder - North America

You can drive through to buy anything in North America... drive through to get a coffee in the morning, drive through to get a burger at lunch, drive through to get a pizza for dinner, drive through to get an icecream for dessert, drive through to watch a movie, drive through to get your cash, drive through to get your beer. You can even drive through to get your drugs (pharmaceuticals that is).... Legs are redundant, retired; whats the point when you have wheels! Highways are an American institution. Drive in, order, pick up, pay, drive away. Everyone is on their way somewhere fast, but noone is moving. Bums are superglued to GM motor and Chevy seats. The cafe and a good gossip is no part of this life ... a drawn out dinner over glasses of wine is history.

The American is a breed without legs and with a cupped hand. Babies are born with their right hand in a cupping shape, thumb on one side and fingers clasped together, glued to each other on the other. There are cup holders on prams, so babies learn early what their cupped hand is for. Then, when the babies get big enough to sit in the shopping trolleys, there are cup holders in the shopping trolleys. There are cup holders in all cars, and cup holders in trains. Cup holders on chairs and cupholders in buses. And there are cup holders so big they fit a 2 litre bottle.

It is a cheap joke to laugh at the fat American, but here heavyweights abound. Even today, it seems that it is a constant concern that American’s do not starve; either that or someone has a very sick sense of humour in the roads and traffic authority. Every 2 miles, another sign alerts us to a food stop where there is not just McDonalds, but Subway, Dennys, Sheris, KFC, Tacobell, Sizzler, Wendys; Starbucks, Happy Teriyaki, Dominos and plenty of other mutations that are just as tacky and popular. Whilst fastfood is more available than drinking water, a supermarket with fresh fruit and vegetables is a rare highway phenomenon. So it was for miles and miles and miles that we drove through Washington and Oregon before there was a convenient highway side Safeway - a grocery store to stock up. Even Safeway had a takeaway section incase you arrived there, and decided that, after all, grocery shopping and cooking was not really your thing.

As if the food signs weren't enough though, there are also signs for pharmaceuticals, that to an Ozzie scream of a drug culture. You're now in Pill country they shout, and London Drugs! for all those in need. So where do we start to taste the American cultcha, do we try it out at every fastfood outlet to experience the American life and doing so end up hauling up bags of lard on our thighs up the next mountain we climb... I think not. Do we spend bigtime at the malls epecially as the Ozzie dollar continues to climb and we seem richer by the day.... I think not. Do we experience the pills and drugs that Americans are addicted to... climbing is addiction enough... We are I think experiencing the American way of life by driving for miles and miles, by spending up big on gallons of gas, and buying "small" coffees which being supersize are enough for the two of us. But, most of all, and the reason why we are here is to experiencing the best thing I think that Americans have came up with... the national park, and we are not just going to drive through.






3 comments:

  1. That's a pretty narrow view of America. How long were you there? A week? I've been here 24 years and not everyone is fat and not everyone is lazy. Your blog entry makes you sound incredibly ignorant. I've lived in other countries before and haven't felt the need to bash them becuase they are not the same as my home country. Think about who might be reading your blog, and try not to sound like such an asshole.

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  2. And by the way, that picture for drugs is for a pharmacy, also known as a drugstore. This is simply another name for a convenient store. And that sign that says you're in pill country is for pilsner beer.

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  3. Unfortunately I have only just read your comment as we had a climbing accident which has been all consuming and plan altering... However, I would like to reply.... I agree, not every American is fat and lazy indeed some of the fittest people are Americans. I am also very glad America is not the same as Australia; if it was there would be no need to visit! I am also aware London drugs is a pharmacy, and Pill country is for pilsner.. beer (we are very familiar with it in Australia also)...

    Regardless, my article is based on something called humour... sarcasm... wit... something perhaps you are lacking in life? And there is a very crucial compliment to America you perhaps missed - I love national parks....

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